Navajo Joe (1966)- Burt Reynolds (3 ½ )

Director: Sergio Corbucci

Stars: Burt Reynolds, Aldo Sambrell and Nicoletta Machiavelli

Genre: Western

MPAA Rating:  R

Running Time: 92 Mins

Tagline:" Relentless in his vengeance! Deadly in his violence"

I stumbled upon this movie because I found out that Quentin Tarrantino had used the score of this movie on Kill Bill. I had already seen a case of this when he used a piece of the score of another Spaghetti Western (Death Rides A Horse) and I will admit I was initially very upset at this notion. I don’t like when directors or writers steal material from other films. But when I come to think of it, it is part of Tarantino’s style to use scores and even actors from these older films. I see it as a form of homage, paying tribute to the films that will never be again.

The movie begins with the massacre of a small tribe of Indians. From the tribe, a survivor seeks out revenge on the men who brutally murdered the innocent people of the tribe. Navajo Joe is peculiar in that it stars Burt Reynolds as a Native American Indian. Initially I didn’t buy the whole thing of a white man playing the character of an Indian; Reynolds however pulls it off, unlike William Shatner who did a horrible job in White Comanche. Anyway, the plot isn’t too complex; the only complexity they add is story about these criminals seeking a safe of money. Even if simple and formulaic, it works wonders, thanks to the cinematography and wonderful score by Ennio Morricone.

Navajo Joe is one of countless spaghetti westerns that were released during the golden time of the era. It actually came out the same year as The Good, the Bad & the Ugly. It wasn’t as popular, even if it was directed by Sergio Corbucci. I wouldn’t miss this forgotten and underrated western. Like I said don’t expect any form of originality out of this western; it is quite generic and predictable. I will leave a link down below so you can hear the score that plays in this movie, which was later used in Kill Bill.  Let me know what you guys thought, I always appreciate comments.

Night of The Living Dead (1998 New Footage) {30th Anniversary Edition} (0)

Director: George A. Romero(Original Footage) / John A. Russo (New Footage)

Stars :Duane Jones, Judith O'Dea and Karl Hardman

Genre: Horror

MPAA Rating: Not Rated 

Running Time: 96Mins

Tagline: "They Are Coming To Get You....Again! "

Before Romero fans begin to bash and insult me. Let me clear out that this review is for the 30^th Anniversary Edition, and not the original timeless classic from George A. Romero.  This review will center only on the new version that was released in 1998. I will talk briefly about the plot, but only to point out the differences between the original and this new version.

Why fix something if it’s not broken? (so the saying says) it couldn’t be more evident here.  Producers and writers of the original film went back to Pittsburgh (where NOFTLD was originally shot) and decided to shoot new footage, that supposedly wasn’t added at the time due to time restraints and limited budget. Excuse my French, but that is just one pile of horseshit! These Assholes just thought it was a good idea to shoot more footage to gain an extra buck.  They did it pretty easily thanks to the fact that NOFTLD has been in public domain for ages; literally anyone can add any footage they like, or release as many versions of it as possible. You would not believe how many versions of this film exist, aside the colorized version, there is also an atrocious 3-D edition (which I will do a review of eventually)

The producers released this new edition to celebrate the release of its original film. What they did was insert 15 min of footage. This footage is entirely new, not shot in 68, and perhaps the worst and most unnecessary footage ever filmed for a film. Such scenes include: a prelude which explains how the first zombie (which attacks Johnny and Barbara) came to life. While it may seem a nice tribute, it looks out of place and overall unneeded. Also, it is very obvious that the actor has aged and gained weight, unless zombies lose a lot of weight, from one scene to the next, taking place the same day, then perhaps it would be acceptalbe, but in this case it isnt.

To make matters worse they add two segments with a priest. The actor who plays the priest looks like he has never stepped into a studio in his life, plus his teeth look like Chiclets.  If you don’t want me to spoil you any further than this is my cue for you to stop reading, but if you are interested do keep reading.  The priest gets bitten by one of the zombies and miraculously he doesn’t die nor turn to a Zombie. My guess is that they wanted to make the film tie up with the tagline of Dawn of The Dead “When there is no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth”. So my theory is this: the priest did not turn because he is protected by God…then again we can do the right thing, ignore this idiotic attempt at reconstructing a movie that didn’t need to be reconstructed.  Stick to the original folks. I will leave a video of the priest explaining how he is blessed and protected by God, horrible scene, just horrible!

Killshot (2009)-Mickey Rourke (1)

Director: John Madden

Stars: Thomas Jane, Diane Lane and Mickey Rourke

Genre:   Crime | Drama | Thriller   

MPAA Rating: R ( violence, language and brief nudity )

Running Time: 95 Mins

Tagline: "He never met a target he couldn't take. Until today "

Goddamn the Weinstein Company!  Because of their sorry asses this movie ended up being the atrocity it is. For those who are not following why I am so upset, don’t worry, I will clarify it all in a minute.  I remember seeing a trailer for this movie back in 2006. While watching it, in my mind, the presence of Mickey Rourke and Thomas Jane, made this a must see movie. Both actors hadn’t had a big break in awhile, and they deserved it. Unfortunately the studio postponed the release of the film, not once, but numerous times…I even lost count how many trailers I saw for this movie, each one different from the last.

Eventually the movie was released in 2009 (3 years later) and straight to DVD, with a very limited theatrical release. Right there I knew that wasn’t a good thing. When I went to blockbuster, to my surprise they had a previously viewed copy of the film. After viewing it…I was lost for words…of how horrible this movie was. To begin, you can tell the movie was heavily edited and truncated in length; the use of fast cuts, minimal important dialogue, and overall lack of explanation. At times I felt as if something was missing. That could not be farther from the truth; the Weinstein Company re-edited and removed a pivotal character in the film (Johnny Knockville). The reason for this was due to poor receptions during its screening. The result from all this is a very uneven, confusing, and disjointed film.

Well, even with all the editing that was applied to the film, there still exists a plot. Mickey Rourke plays a Hitman named Blackbird (at least that is how they refer to him) who works for the mafia. After eliminating a mafia leader, he meets up with an amateur, obnoxious, annoying crook (Joseph Gordon Levitt) he lures him in to working for him. More than anything the kid is only interested in what he can learn and get out from Blackbird.  On the other end of the film we have Thomas Jane and Diane Lane. They are both separated, but, they help each other out in their problems.  Problems, such as those were Jane gets fired from his job, and ends up finding a job where his wife works at.  While on his way to his where his wife works, he gets mistaken for the boss, that blackbird is looking to kill. From here Blackbird begins to take it personally. All due to the fact that both Jane and his wife saw Blackbird’s (what an annoying name) face, and that for him is a big no-no.

I think if they ever do release the original intended film, then perhaps this movie will get better recognition…until then, this movie would be looked upon, at least for me, as a confusing and mindless film.  The only redeeming value this movie has is Mickey Rourke. He always shines up the screen, the guy is menacing in any role he takes, even the mediocre ones. However, I cannot say the same thing for Gordon-Levitt, the dude extremely annoying, from the beginning until the last scene where he eventually gets shot by blackbird. I cheered when he pulled the trigger on him, perhaps one of the few memorable scenes in the entire picture.  Anyway, I wouldn’t bother buying nor renting this movie, at least not until they release the director’s cut. By the way, dont be fooled by the trailer, the movie is nothing like it.

Black Devil Doll (2007)- Heather Murphy (1 ½ )

Director: Jonathan Lewis

Stars: Heather Murphy, Natasha Talonz and Christine Svendsen

Genre: Horror

MPAA Rating: X

Running Time: 73Mins

Tagline: "Who will survive? What will be left of them? Will their virginity be intact? "

Oh man how do I begin explaining this hilarious crap? You know me; I like to tell the story of how I ended up obtaining the movies I watch. So here goes the story: I was with the same friend that let me borrow Satan’s Baby Doll. We went to go to one of the F.Y.E stores that was, to our surprise, closing. So everything had to go. Me as a fanatic of horror and science fiction, I began picking every obscure title that came my way. One of those titles was ofcourse “Black Devil Doll” the cover called my attention, with its neat art cover that had some reminiscence to exploitation films. So without thinking twice I bought it.  I even think this was the first movie out of the whole lot that I ended up watching that night.

Unfortunately this movie was sort of a disappointment. The main problem is that this movie is really just a porno with a puppet. For some that might mean good news, but trust me this it really isn’t. It would take me a whole research paper to put down all the nasty shit that occurs in this movie. But being that this is a review, I will list the most memorable moments. But before that, let’s talk about what Mr. Black Devil Doll wants.

The doll comes to life after a girl plays with an Ouija board. Summoning the spirit of a convicted murder. The spirit ends up trapped in the doll. The girl becomes the dolls girlfriend (man how ridiculous) but the doll wants to get it on with other gals (or as he says: bitches) luckily for the doll, his girlfriend invites some girls over. The puppet ends up banging each one, and killing them brutally one by one. Now, the death scenes, while gory, are very cheap looking and ultimately funny. Even if this movie is funny I cant give it a higher rating; I was expecting more out of the character. Then again that is just me, I know it's just a horror/comedy, not to be taken so seriously. I will leave you the trailer below so you can see how the movie is. The trailer is uncensored.

Godzilla 1985: The Legend Is Reborn (1984) {American Version} (2)

Director: Koji Hashimoto, R.J. Kizer

Stars:Raymond Burr, Ken Tanaka and Yasuko Sawaguchi

 Genre:  Action | Drama | Horror

MPAA Rating: PG

Running Time: 82 Mins

Tagline: "Your favorite fire-breathing monster... Like you've never seen him before"

Siskel and Ebert review

OH NO ITS GODZILLLA!!!!!

GODZILLA IS BACK!!!

Yes folks, that’s right our beloved green dude is back to destroy Tokyo one more time. I actually feel bad for Tokyo, they are always been attacked by monsters, cataclysms and shit. If I lived in Tokyo, and Godzilla made and attack, I would move my ass out of there quickly...Like Chop Chop!

For its 29^th anniversary TOHO decided it was time to re-start the Godzilla franchise. This installment ignores all previous Godzilla movies, except the original Gojira film (King of the Monsters). I was actually excited to see this movie, I had never gotten the opportunity because it wasn’t available on DVD (it actually still isn’t available) I was able to watch this film due to the fact that they had it for sale at a Supercon Convention here in Miami. The version I obtained included both the American Version (which I am reviewing) and the original unaltered Japanese Cut. I still need to see the Japanese version, but I can say that the American cut is pretty lame. The U.S. version, which I know of, was edited and shortened in length. New World Pictures (the distributors of the film) also contracted Raymond Burr to reprise his roles as Steve Martin; funny how in the film they only refer to him by Martin. The reason for them doing that was the fact that Steve Martin, the actor, had become popular and they didn’t want to cause confusion.

As for the film itself, Godzilla has been dormant for too long, he needs to crush some Godamn buildings! Taking place some 29-30 years after the first Godzilla film, Tokyo has recovered after what Godzilla did before. But guess what? They will have to start rebuilding again! Godzilla is in for the kill!  Man I am full of one liners here today, aren’t I? Well keep in mind that Godzilla movies are never to be taken seriously; they are pure entertainment.

So after Godzilla raids again into town, the Japanese and the Americans unite forces to stop the eminent attack.  Even though I am content that they brought back Raymond Burr, I wish he had taken his role more seriously. Most of his lines are just lifeless, and pretty bland. I really think that they didn’t do any second takes, at all. Even Ebert mentioned this back in 1985. He said that it felt as if Raymond Burr did all his scenes in one day. Keep in mind though that Godzilla was shot in Japan, all the other scenes with English dialogue was shot here in the states much later. 

Aside the fact that Godzilla returns and destroys half of Tokyo (as he always does, has nothing better else to do) there really isn’t much else to say about the flick. They do have a scene where a special flying device is used to attack Godzilla and kill him (momentarily at least) the rest is very familiar. I prefer usually the Godzilla flicks that involve him fighting other monsters…it’s more badass, at least for me that is.  A great thing about this Godzilla film is the effects, they improve over the other installments effects. Ofcourse with the advent of CGI they could make it a lot more lavish and lucrative…right? Well take a good look how they fucked up the the character in Roland Emmerich’s 1998 Godzilla.  To wrap up I am positive that the Japanese version is far superior than the American re-cut. I am sure you can find the DVD either online or through a vendor at a convention. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed the review. I will leave some trailers from the film, a review from Roger Ebert and another review from the angry video game nerd.