Bruce Lee Fights Back From The Grave (1976)- Bruce K.L. Lea (1)

Director: Doo-yong Lee

Stars: Jun Chong (Aka Bruce K.L. Lea), Deborah Dutch and Debby Tebor

Genre: Action/Martial Arts

MPAA Rating: R

Running Time: 85 Mins

Tagline: "You Cant Keep A Good Man Down!"

When you read the title of this movie you might be expecting something involving the supernatural realm. Well, that couldn't be farther from the truth. This Bruceploaitation/Kung-Fu Flick is perhaps the worse of its own genre.  For those who are unfamiliar with the genre of Bruceploaition, this genre became popular over in Asia after the passing of Bruce Lee. It involved using actors who had some resemblance to the late actor. They would most often rename the actor to Bruce Le, Bruce Li, Bruce Leee, and in this movie: Bruce K.L. Lea.  The thing is that the actor chosen for this movie has no resemblance to the real Bruce…other than the fact he is Asian. But aside that, the guy looks nothing like Bruce Lee.

The biggest insult is how the movie begins. Bruce Lee summons from the grave, shirtless, with torn jeans and grabs a demon by the tail. However, that scene where he grabs the demon is just a drawing of the cover art.  Then after that shot, we are transported to “America” which looks more like China pretending to be Los Angeles.  Bruce Lea is in America, he is to attend the funeral of his old friend. Lea is skeptical that his friend committed suicide. He is convinced that it must have been rivals or the mafia. After attending the funeral he notices that there is no corpse in the casket. ..Rising more speculation to the incident of his actual death. Lea eventually is attacked by men involved in the murder. All of the characters are extremely cartoony and stereotypical: a Mexican, a cowboy, and a black guy with a white man’s voice.  

Quite frankly, I cannot recommend this movie to anyone. The only redeeming value it might have is the unintentional humor. Most of all that unintentional humor comes from poor editing, bad dialogue and poor dubbing. I will leave at the end of this review a free link if you really want to see this movie…even after what I have told you…be my guest, the link is below. I will also include a trailer and an opening clip from the movie.

The best part of this whole flick was definitely the leading lady, she was freaking hot. She couldn’t act for shit, but who cares; the woman was fine as hell. I did notice something peculiar: her hair changes from straight to curly on several shots…that shows how careless the director and crew were. Even worse is the ending, the fact that Lea fights in an abandoned junk yard and somehow randomly jumps into a boxing ring with a Mexican.  If you really want to laugh at how bad the movie is, go ahead, but be warned that this is bottom of the barrel in terms of crap. I can’t emphasize how ludicrous this shit is, even so that the fights are poorly choreographed. They even add Bruce’s infamous scream in the fights…the problem is that you never see Lea open his mouth when you hear the screaming.  I would like to also mention that this movie can be viewed for free on YouTube; it has no copyright infringement…so it’s free to see by the public.  As a movie collector, I own the turkey, and have owned it several times in different formats. “If the movie is so bad, why would you own it?”  Good question! I first got this movie when I was 11, and at the time, I thought this was a real Bruce Lee movie. I had only seen Chinese Connection and Fist of Fury, and I didn’t even know Bruce had passed away. So as a gullible kid, I ended up getting this one as a present.  I was even pondering why they added the “fights back from the grave” not knowing at the time he was dead.  So I have bought the film as a sort of "memory" of my inocent years, when I couldnt tell the diference between a good and bad movie

Eagle Eye (2008)- Shia La Beouf (2)

Director:D.J. Caruso

Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan and Rosario Dawson

Genre:   Action | Mystery | Thriller

MPAA Rating:  PG-13

Running Time: 118 Mins

Tagline: "If you want to live you will obey "

Eagle Eye is by far the perfect example of the absurdities that come out of Hollywood. I just finished watching this preposterous film, which quite frankly, takes itself a bit too seriously. The funny thing is that this movie is actually entertaining; I couldn’t take my eyes of the screen, even if 98.9% of it was just idiotic. At times I even felt I was watching a Transformers movie, it was no different, and Shia is still running and screaming for his little life.

I have no clue how to get into the films plot without ruining anything important. I will try to talk as much of it, but without giving out any important spoilers. Ok, so meet Jerry Shaw, an innocent man accused of terrorism. All this happens after they find an arsenal of weapons in his apartment. He has little option but to run away from authorities, he doesn’t know where the weapons came from, and no one seems to believe him. Aside that, he is being threatened and has to rely on a unknown voice coming from a cell phone.  Included in this mess is another innocent woman, who I still don’t know her purpose, which is also being given instructions by the voice. If she doesn’t do what the voice says, her son will be killed in the train he is aboard.  Both must work together to find who the voice is, why they have been chosen (or as this film calls them: Activated) and try to make it alive out of it all at the end.

The movie’s theme, which sounds “interesting”, is actually very silly. When you actually do find out the origin of the voice, you are left cheated and with a bad taste. Even if was entertaining, the movie fails to deliver anything realistic, I have a hard time believing that most of this would happen. I know very well this is purely fantasy, but the movie tries too hard to play realistically, when in the end it’s just purely science fiction.  The story copies from a dozen other films, better films might I say. I wont say from what movies it copies, because if i give out the names it might actually give away the supposed “Twist”. I can’t recommend this movie, and if I do its just for the sake of entertainment. You won’t get bored, I assure you that. Even if it clocks in at almost 2 hours, the explosions, and car flips will make you forget the unrealistic plot.  So if you want crazy, almost Michael Bay, with crazy conspiracy plot that lead nowhere, then look no further, this is for you.

Hot Child In The City (1987) Leah Ayres (1)

Director: John Florea

Stars: Leah Ayres, Shari Shattuck and Geof Prysirr

Genre: Drama

MPAA Rating: Unrated

Running Time: 85Mins

Tagline: "When you live a life of decadence, there's always a price to pay. "

Synopsis:

{According to IMDB}

When Rachel went to visit her very successful sister in Hollywood, she expected her vacation to be exciting compared to her life in Kansas. She didn't expect her sister's murder.

Renting  and purchasing videocassettes during the 80’s and early 90’s was the norm, and due to the popularity the videocassette market had during that era, studios would release straight to video movies even more. At the time, people didn’t exactly care, or knew very much if the movie had been released in theaters or not. It wasn’t until they took the movie home that they saw what crap they had wasted money on. This movie Hot Child in the City is such example of crap that was released straight to video back then in the market.

 This 87 clunker, aside from having 80’s written all over it, is a bizarre film that I never knew what exactly it wanted to be. I never knew if it wanted to be either:  a drama, horror, thriller, romance or even a music video (there are scenes look like a bad 80’s music video)…I have no clue; it experimented with too many genres, and at the end it never made up its mind on what it wanted to be.  The movie is about a girl named Rachel, who comes down from Kansas to visit her sister living in Los Angeles.  Rachel’s sister invites her over for vacation, to enjoy the city and see her accomplished life as a record producer. Leah will eventually have to cut her vacation short; she never expected her sister to be murdered.

After finding her sister brutally murdered (inside a garbage container) she tries to get a help from the local police, who try their best to question the men who were with her sister that night in the club (where she was before the murder) Eventually the questioning and investigation leads nowhere, and Rachel  must take law into her own hands. From here I thought the movie was going to become an entertaining, cheesy, vengeance flick…that was not the case. It became a boring, terrible, unimaginative film that lead nowhere. We see Leah going around the city, pretending to be her sister, and hooking up with men. Leah actually ends up (spoiler alert) sleeping with the man who killed her sister. If that is supposed to be a twist, then they definitely had no idea what a twist means. To make matters worse, it ends with Rachel living life happily ever after, in a nice mansion, drinking some lemonade with the police officer who didn’t do much to help in the investigation.

The only reason I bought this movie was because it stared Leah Ayres (Bloodsport and The Burning) who I think is a decent actress, but wasn’t given enough roles, at least not enough good roles. I give her credit for giving her best with what she is being given. I have no complains with her acting, my complains are about the film itself. The only good thing about this movie is the music they play; which is all mostly Billy Idol, Lou Reed, Go West, Fun Boy Three, Andd Moore and Nick Gilder. The most recognizable song here is definitely Eyes without a Face from Billy Idol. The rest, unless you are a 80’s music fan, you might perhaps not know. Overall, my advice, don’t buy or watch this movie. It’s obscure and only available on VHS for a reason-because it sucks, that’s why.

The Brick Dollhouse (1967)-Tina Vienna

Director: Tony Martinez

Stars: Tina Vienna, Janice Kelly and Peggy Ann

Genre:  Thriller | Drama

MPAA Rating:  X

Running Time: 55Mins

Tagline: None




Discussion

 During the late 60’s and mid early 70’s it was the norm for teenagers to sneak in and watch sexploitation in a theater room.  Hundreds of these films were released during this era. Most of them, like this one, had little to no plot. The plot was never an important factor; it was primarily the nudity that people wanted to see on the screen. Most of these movies are considered “soft-core” by today’s standards. In today’s modern era, it may seem quite silly to watch a sexploitation flick. Thanks to the advent of internet, people can easily view these types of films in the comfort of their own home.

The Brick Dollhouse is a low budget sexploitation flick that delivers very little plot to the audience, and that is fine due to the type of film it’s supposed to be.  The problem with this movie is that even with the nudity it is tremendously boring and quite repetitive.  The movie is filled with nudity and soft-core scenes, retro babes getting it on, drugs, you name it…but again, comparing this to a modern porn movie...You would feel as if this is just a rip off.  So if you are expecting "Hardcore Porn" this is not it, that's for sure.

Something Weird

The plot of the movie (which there really isn’t) is about some 6-7 girls, all hot, all party animals that are living in the same house. Two of the girls in the house find one of their girlfriends dead in bed. The girls decide to call the cops and notify of the brutal incident.  As soon as the cops arrive they begin asking questions about the murder. Asking what they saw, how they believe it happened, who could have done it, etc.  But as the cops interview each one of these quarter brain bimbos, all they get is flashbacks to days when the girls were high, and having sex parties. Literally scene by scene, all we see is some retro babes getting nude for no reason as they uncover the murder of their friend. The worst part is that they add a twist…not really.

The only redeeming value of this flick is seeing how the old free love days were. Personally, there isn’t much to surprise the audience; the whole sex and drug thing has always been a thing. Its funny how people may see these movies and think people back then didn’t do drugs or have wild sex. Like a professor of mine said “Every generation thinks they invented sex” I even think people had even more crazier parties back then. These people did crazy shit like LSD…I don’t know, just saying that hardcore drugs were available back then. I wouldn’t purchase this flick honestly. I have seen some better films from these genres, which have a little more plot. I can name few- Sometime Sweet Susan, Deadly Weapons, Kidnap Coed, and Hitchhike to Hell.  But if you really want to get this movie I will sugest you get the copy from Something Weird.I will add a video from “Something Weird” the company that has re-released these movies on DVD.

The Tree of Life (2011)- Brad Pitt (2)

Director: Terrence Malick

Stars: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn and Jessica Chastain

Genre:  Drama

MPAA Rating:  PG-13 (for some thematic material)

Running Time: 139 Mins

Tagline: None

I don’t know where to begin, I honestly don’t; this was NOT the type of movie I was expecting to go see at the cinema. I assumed by the films trailer, that the movie was going to be reminiscent to Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I really thought that because of the photography, and the fact Brad Pitt was the star of the film.   All of this couldn’t be farther from the truth, this is one of the biggest acid trips I have ever had, and I don’t use drugs, which makes it all even weirder.

The movie tries in many ways to be like Kubrick’s 2001, you will see what I mean by that in the following paragraphs.  The cast of this movie is really irrelevant; they have little to no purpose in this movie. The whole thing concentrates more on the photography and I guess...Philosophy, so to speak, of what might happen when we die. After the death of the brother of Sean Penn’s character (who only has 5 min of screen time) we witness a bizarre combination of wild imagery, combining glaziers falling,  spermatozoids entering the ovary, and  a segment involving a dinosaur having mercy on another creature. At times I thought I was watching a Discovery Channel Documentary on Crack. I guess the Director wanted to appeal the audience with an abstract, non cohesive and illogical film.

For those who have read this far and still want to really know what the movie is about, then keep reading. Brad Pitt plays a father of 3 children during the 60’s. We see through some parts of the film (the understandable parts) how he raises his children, with discipline and high morality.  The kids fear the father, and all they really want to do is just be kids, have the opportunity to play and be like any other child.  Around all of this, we also see Sean Penn, who at one point was one of the kids, walking around a city just looking and gazing at nothing. They even show Sean Penn in a desert for no fucking reason, at the end he meets up with his parents who had died many years ago (I assume, they never clarify)

This whole thing was really absurd, I have a hard time talking about it because I still have no clue what its about. It tries too hard to be like 2001 in terms of photography and pace, which reminds me how fucking slow and boring this shit was.  I only give it two stars for the visual effects, that look superb, yet they are pointless. I don’t recommend this movie to anyone, avoid it.