Attack Force (2006)- Steven Seagal (0)

Director: Michael Keusch

Stars: Steven Seagal, Lisa Lovbrand, & David Kennedy

Genre: Action/Thriller

MPAA Rating: R (strong violence, language and some sexuality)

Running Time: 95 Mins

Tagline:”Humanity’s greatest hope... Faces his greatest battle.”

Synopsis:

{According to IMDB}

"Marshall Lawson loses his strike-team in a cold-blooded and seemingly random attack. After this he takes it upon himself to investigate the suspicious circumstances of the brutal killings. Soon he uncovers CTX Majestic, a covert military operation so secret, that now the military wants Marshall eliminated. Resolute in his pursuit, Marshall engages in a merciless battle with a drug dealer operation that appears to be secretly funded by a rogue arm of the military"

Discussion

Once again, good thing I didn’t pay to see this piece of excruciating shit! I am still in awe, of how horrendous this movie was. I still can’t believe this movie actually had a budget of 15 Million!! How or why Seagal signed aboard this mega junk is beyond me. From what I’ve heard, since his feud with Julius R.Nasso, Seagal can’t find a studio that will pay him the 16 Million Dollar salary he was getting when working at Warner Bros. You know what? I don’t blame the unenclosed studios; who would want to hire this fat ass, that can no longer fight nor do any of his stunts. He is constantly requiring for a stunt double, studios having to re-dub his lines- which reminds me, this movie breaks the record of Seagal’s voice being dubbed; about 75% of the entire picture is dubbed by another actor. According to producers of the film, they claim that a large portion of the audio was lost in post production, and Seagal refused to show up for the re-recording sessions; again a lazy fat ass that no studio wants to hire. Yet, luckily for him, Sony pictures hired him for 2 million. No wonder he does 5 or 6 of this shitty movies a year; has no other choice, the only way he can climb back up to the 16 Million figures to maintain his bad eating habit lifestyle.

But aside Seagal’s lifestyle, let’s get to the movie, Seagal plays Commander Marshall Lawson, after his crew gets killed on a wild night of booze and chicks, it is up to Marshall to investigate what happened to his team members-oh by the way, it’s so hilarious how he reacts to when people die, especially those close to him. He barely has any emotion whatsoever. In one scene he pushes a door slamming one of his team members (who was already dead) doesn’t even check the pulse and just leaves the scene; what an unsympathetic bastard! Later we find out that the hooker that killed the 3 teammates was in fact working for some pimp who used to be a scientist; he created a DNA altering drug called CTX. The drug turns people in to vampire like people, being also highly addictive. This scientist/pimp wants to dump the drug into the water system and get everyone hooked on the drug. Why? Fuck I don’t know? This shit was just freaking retarded.

 

Like I said earlier the whole thing was almost entirely dubbed by an another actor, who sounds nothing like Seagal; to think the fat ass has no respect for a movie he in fact produced, shows how much workmanship he has. The movie also has some of the most ridiculous fight scenes, this one amped it up in the “patty cake” department. There’s one scene of many where Seagal waits for his team to fight this bad ass chick, she is supposed to be so powerful and shit, due to the drug,  so, she can single handedly just beat anyone she pleases…except one person…that’s right the egotistical fatty bloke of Seagal. She fights the fatty and all they do is freaking patty cake. Also, there is a double for almost every other scene, more so than the other ones I reviewed before. There is one particular scene where Seagal is talking on the phone, it’s so god damn obvious it’s not him, gee, could it be cuz I am not seeing the back of the double, but in fact his full much thinner face.

I also read somewhere that the original plot was to be about aliens, but last decision was to cut that idea out and reshoot almost the whole thing. Seagal, being the fat fuck he is, decided not to show up and just let the director and producer handle the thing to their best judgment, again, good workmanship Seagal, good job a-hole.  So instead of Aliens they changed it to the whole DNA altering/ Vampire Drug. I wonder if the movie be any better without the altering, I’m assuming it was the same shit. Lastly the cover of this movie just cracked me up, it so bluntly obvious that it’s a Photoshop picture of some random guy, and then super imposed a picture of Seagal in to the double, to make him look thin. Even more ludicrous is the matrix-like letters in the background that are not relevant to the plot of the movie. With true honesty, as a diehard fan of Seagal, avoid this shitbag.

Bottom Line:

This movie so shit! That I am not even going to get into the aspects of video and audio, it doesn’t even matter to be honest with you. Pretend I never spoke of it, you will live a much better life not seeing this mega crap, trust me on this one.          

 


Seagal’s redubbed voice




theatrical trailer

Hereafter (2010)- Matt Damon (3 ½ )

Director: Clint Eastwood

Stars: Matt Damon, Cécile De France & Bryce Dallas Howard

Genre: Drama/Fantasy

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (mature thematic elements including disturbing disaster and accident images, and for brief strong language)

Running Time: 129 Mins

Tagline:  None

Synopsis:

{According to IMDB}"A drama centered on three people -- a blue-collar American, a French journalist and a London school boy -- who are touched by death in different ways. "

Discussion

I can’t remember the last time a Clint Eastwood movie disappointed me.  The only one I can recall is unforgiven; which I never understood how or why it became so popular, to me, it was just a boring and mediocre Western.  All other films Directed and acted by Clint have been superb; just as this new directorial take on the subject of the afterlife

Hereafter reunites Matt Damon with Clint Eastwood (previously worked together: Invictus) in what I can describe as a rare treat. I came into the film a bit skeptical, while I wasn’t expecting to be disappointed, I wasn’t hoping to be mesmerized either. I don’t think I got neither of these reactions, I mostly felt pensive after the closing credits.  The movie’s theme which deals mostly with what happens when we die has always intrigued me, perhaps because I, like anyone else, doesn’t really know what happens when we seize to be. I have my thoughts on the subject, but rather not get into them; I will more than likely dwell on that subject more than the actual movie I should be reviewing.

 

Matt Damon plays George Lonegan, a retired psychic who is trying to live a very private life; working in the day in a factory and taking cooking lessons at night. Even as private as he wants to be, his brother brings to him someone who wants a “reading” (a seeing of the afterlife) initially refusing to do it, he eventually agrees, being the last and only time. With that reading more people come into his life who are interested in “readings” George tries to explain to his brother that what he has is not a gift, but a curse; people will not understand what he is going through. He decides to leave the country and move to London to begin anew.  In London and France we are introduced to other pivotal characters that eventually connect with George. One being a young boy who has recently lost his twin brother, now in search of someone who can tell him if he is ok or if there is an afterlife; the other being a female reporter who survives a Tsunami and for a couple of minutes experienced death.  

Personally I was pleased with the picture, it was slow, but not boring, took its time developing each character; Giving enough time to explore each character’s belief in death. The ending however is one that left me mixed. I think it was ended that way as a metaphor of enjoying more the time you have alive, than that of which you will be dead; you will only be alive for so little time.

DVD

I was skeptical about this movie, so I ended up renting it from blockbuster on DVD. I might actually get this one in the future on BD.

Video

For a DVD the quality was pretty sharp, the contrast wasn’t too high nor too low, just right for the tone of the movie. I only saw pixilation in some scenes, but nothing too distracting. The tsunami scene had some pixilation, but after that it scene I didn’t witness anything else.

Audio

The movie wasn’t loud, don’t expect this to be 2012 or Armageddon. In exception of the first scene involving a Tsunami, the rest is very slow and mostly dialogue. The 5.1 surround works nicely with the first 10 min of the film. Throughout the film you will feel the 5.1. Mostly in the atmospheric music and exterior sounds.

Bottom Line

I say give it a try, I enjoyed it, might actually end up buying it in the future. If you have taste for thinking and observing this is for you. If you are expecting a disaster flick, this is not for you

Theatrical trailer

The King of Comedy (1982)- Robert De Niro (5) * {Top 250}

Director: Martin Scorsese

Stars: Robert DeNiro, Jerry Lewis & Diahnne Abbott

Genre: comedy/drama/crime

Rating: PG (mild violence, adult situations and language)

Running time: 109 minutes

Tagline "No one knows Rupert Pupkin, but after1130 tonight no one will ever forget him”

Synopsis:

{According to IMDB}

"Aspiring comic Rupert Pupkin wants to achieve success in showbiz, by resorting to stalking his idol, a late night talk show host who craves his own privacy. "

Discussion

Wow! Where do I begin to explain how amazing this movie was? First of all I was surprised to find out this was directed by Martin Scorsese (Taxi Driver, The Departed) this is definitely a different route for the crime director. Even if this movie is billed as a comedy, it felt more like a crime/drama with some awkward humor in between. Don't get me wrong this formula works perfectly for this movie. In recent interviews Scorsese has mentioned that he thinks he should have never made the movie, due to the difficulties in production and low box office take.  The movie was not a hit in its initial theatrical release, but during the passing years it has achieved a cult following; primarily due to how marvelous and original it is. Even if Scorsese does feel a sense of failure, he shouldn’t, this one is guaranteed classic, one of a kind.

Robert DeNiro plays Rupert Pupkin. No one can remember his name, nor pronounce it right. No one likes him; he is annoying, irritating and overly obsessive with his idol Jerry Langford (Jerry Lewis) he keeps telling people that he will make it big on showbiz. Keeps emphasizing that all he needs is a big break. However, he lives most of his life in a fantasy. He is 34 living with his mom, spends most of his time recording and pretending he has an audience who are actually watching his show. Ofcourse this is all in his head; the audience gets the opportunity to actually see it being played the way he sees it in his imagination. Scenarios involving Langford desperately asking advice and spare time for Pupkin to take over his show while he is out.

Without ruining much, Pupkin spends most of the film stalking and going to extreme measures to be and have the success that his idol has. Curiously this is what makes the movie hilarious. Now, the humor in this movie, it’s funny, but it's a humor of embarrassment. The embarrassment mainly focused on the misfortunes and absurdities of Pupkin.  I have to say that all those embarrassments make this film really work, I was really impressed with it, and DeNiro should have been at least nominated for the role he gave in this picture. Through the film his performance kept me uncomfortable. We were seining a character that at first sight we might feel sympathetic.. But later realize he is pretty psychotic! Which reminds me, the ending I still feel mixed about the ending. It leaves you wondering, like in Taxi Driver, Is the ending is actually taking place or is just pumpkins imagination? That is up to the viewer to decide. Personally I think, unlike Taxi Driver, it's actually taking place. It would make sense, because it would coincide with the title and Tagline of the film. That by the end of the film he will be the actual “King of Comedy”. It's just how he becomes that “King” that makes the whole thing so funny and odd at the same time.

DVD

From what I heard this movie took awhile to be actually released on DVD. This is strange, because this is such a good movie! The same thing happened with another DeNiro movie "A Bronx Tale" it wasn't released in DVD until just last year. But anyways, this DVD is merely a bare bones DVD. I wont get into the audio or video, I didnt see this one in my HDTV.

Theatrical trailer

The Revenge of Dr X (1970)-James Craig (1)

Director: Kenneth G. Crain

AKA: The double garden; the devil garden; Venus fly trap

Stars: James Craig, Tota Konodo & Lawrence O'Neil

Genre: Horror/Science Fiction

MPAA Rating: Unrated

Running Time: 94 Min

Tagline: “A Different Slice of Life

Synopsis:

{According to IMDB}

"A mad scientist uses thunder and lightning to turn carnivorous plants into man-eating creatures"

Discussion

Revenge? What revenge? As far as I’m concerned there was no revenge in this movie. The whole thing was soo misleading, especially the film's title. The movie went through several different titles; at one point it was to be called double garden (which makes even less sense) the original title was Venus fly Trap (better title in my opinion) with so many different titles it is no surprise that it turned into a big mess. Just look at the cover, it’s even more misleading than the actual title. The cover seems like it’s just another random slasher flick...that couldn’t be father from the truth. There is no screaming blonde chick, no gore, no blood, and no knife, nada. the whole thing could have been rated G for all I care. I say that because there is no violence or thematic elements questionable for children; in exception of some nude swimmers...but the boobs are way too flat to even tell that they’re actually naked. As I said, nothing bad for kids.

So if this movie isn't a slasher, then what is it? Well its shit! That’s what it is. Seriously though, even if this movie is shit. There is some sort of plot going on ...I guess.
There might not be a Dr.X but there is a Dr in the house. His name is Dr Brannigan. This guy looks like they pulled him out of an old Frankenstein movie; he even has a maniacal laugh in one scene. This doctor wants to blend human blood with a Venus fly trap.... Yes I know WTF? Why on earth would he want to do that? Cuz he's cuckoo, that's why. He had nothing better to do on a rainy Friday night I suppose.

Mid way in the movie he travels from U.S to Tokyo to conduct his experiments. Waiting for him at the terminal  is the cousin of a co-worker of Dr Brannigan. She seems to be botanist... I’m still not sure of that because she looks mesmerized when she sees the Venus fly trap for the very first time. I may be no scientist but I think I can recognize a venus fly trap at first sight. But that's just me; Worst is when the doctor arrives at the hotel where he will conduct the experiments...the place comes full equipped with a greenhouse! I guess they were really expecting him in Japan. Even more hilarious is that the place comes equipped with a hunchback assistant. Isn’t this beginning to feel like Frankenstein? That's because it pretty much  a Frankenstein story...just with some plant theme thrown in there for the hell of it. Just think little shop of horrors done caca. With the help of his new assistants he works on creating a human Venus fly trap. Using lightning and human blood to bring him to life (again Frankenstein)
As soon as he makes his creation a living reality... It eventually escapes and decides to break havoc in the city of Tokyo. I swear Tokyo and monsters what is up with that? God! this movie was shit; I can’t emphasize more how horrible it was. Especially the way it dies. I guess I’m gonna ruin it, not like it matters much. The doctor follows his creation into the city. He and the huge Venus fly trap fall into a volcano...the end.

DVD

I got this movie in a bundle pack; it came in a 50 Chilling Classics Box Set. The box set was only 10 bucks, 50 movies for 10 bucks isn’t bad, even if most of them are as bad as this one. The movie is supposed to be "remastered" according to the box; the quality however is very cheap low quality transfer from a VHS.
Video

Like most cheap DVD's the quality is never anything above average. Presented in 1:33:1, the total feel I got for the picture quality was dark and grainy. Even though the box set said they are "remastered" they aren't, and then again for how bad it is, I’m not expecting it to be anything spectacular in the visual dept. So overall the quality was just bleh. Felt like they transferred it from a second generation VHS

Audio

The audio was worst the picture; there were times where I needed to rewind back to understand what they had previously said.  

Bottom Line:

Skip it, pretend I never spoke of it, it’s so bad I will not post a link to the full movie. I will only post a link to a part of the film that made me say “WTF!?”

WTF?

 

Into The Sun (2005)- Steven Seagal (2)

Director: Mink

Stars: Steven Seagal, Tokao Oshawa, Juliette Marquis

Genre: Action/Martial Arts/Adventure/Thriller

MPAA Rating: R (Strong Violence, Language, Some Sexuality & Nudity)

Running Time: 97 Mins

Tagline: "Only One Man Can Stop The Yakuza"

Synopsis:

{According to IMDB}

"When a government official is killed, an American operative with experience in the Yakuza culture is brought into investigate."

Discussion

I don’t know why I keep watching these mediocre Seagal flicks. It is as if I’m a masochistic idiot who sets himself up for a bad movie, knowing all along it will ultimately suck. I’ve said many times before; I’m a diehard fan of Seagal’s old school movies. While they weren’t perfect either, At least they had a sense of realism and authenticity; which seems to be absent now in his movies. Actually all of his movies now are recycled stories from his old movies, even the titles. There are about three movies that have the same title.  Out for Justice, Out For a Kill, & Out of Reach. None of them are actually related, just similar titles to call the attention of fans like me.

As always Seagal plays either a CIA Agent, a retired FBI agent or a Secret Operative. This time he plays an Operative. Early in the movie a politician is killed by a member of the Yakuza. The government decides to get a man who knows the streets and connection of Tokyo. Undoubtedly they give this assignment to Seagal’s Character.   Seagal in real life knows a big deal about the Japanese culture, he actually grew up there. In fact he was one of the first Americans to open a Aikido School in Japan.  But back to the movie, Seagal and a partner are on the case to find why the politician was killed. In the long run there’s a deal going on between yakuza and tongs uniting there drug empire …or something like that. In the end I really don’t know why they killed the politician. The whole plot was so convoluted and nonsensical overall.  

The only thing that pleased me about this movie was that Seagal did most of the stunt work. There was barely any stunt doubles…at the most probably in two action scenes. Even if he is mostly only doing patty cake on the screen, I rather see him do it, not a stunt double. Yet, there were scenes were a a stunt double was used, even if it didn't call for it; then again this is a notorious fact in most of Seagal’s DTV flicks. 50 pounds lither double is placed from behind to make the real Seagal look skinny. I mean the guys pancake face is on the screen, it’s not like we can’t tell the guy is obese. I was also glad there wasn’t any dubbing of his voice this time.  Yet, in the scenes where he is “supposedly” speaking Japanese and I say “supposedly” because he sounds like he is muttering most of it,that they should have actually dubbed.  Personally, as a fan of Seagal, I would say just wait, they will eventually show it on TV. I’m sure spike TV will show it, they have shown several of Seagal's DTV flicks

DVD

Belly of the beast was the last Seagal movie I bought on DVD. Since then I either rent or borrow them from someone else. Or I just watch them online. This time, I got a back up copy from a friend. So in technicality this movie comes from the original DVD source.

Video

The copy of into the sun that I got had a lot of compression and pixilation all over the place. I don’t know if this is the actual case with the original DVD, but that was the case with this copy. Since it came from the original DVD, I am assuming it is the case with the original one as well.  

Audio

I wasn’t really impressed with the audio. Even at 5.1 Surround, it didn’t feel very loud to me

Bottom Line:

Like I said, wait for the TV to show it, not worth spending your money on. But if you are a fan like me of Seagal, I will post a free full movie link so you can see it in two parts. Without commercial interruptions.

THEATRICAL TRAILER:

Into the Sun Part 1 out of 2